Sapolsky has studied the force of stress on primates for over three decades.  He and many other scientists join in a chorus warning us of the present and future REAL consequences of stress.

Sapolsky states, “When you are threatened and running for your life, basics are all that matter.”  Non-essential functions like the immune system and reproductive system shut down.  It basically whips out your body’s ability to repair and heal itself. 

To Dr. Carol Shively “stress is not an abstract concept “, the stress you experience today DOES affect your body now and in the future. 

Some of the effects of stress are: clogged arteries, restricted blood flow to your heart, heart attack, hypertension, dying brain cells, fading memory, decrease in dopamine (can you say depression?), increased weight in your middle, increased overall aging, and shorten life expectancy.

For those fascinated by brains like me, I was flabbergasted to learn that chronic stress affects hippocampus, the region of our brain responsible for learning and memory.  Stress actually shrinks our memory and negatively affects our ability to learn.  Remember those times, Moms, when you have to think real hard to remember your social security number or your child’s birthdate?

Dr. Shively says we need to “value stress reduction.”  Discover what works for you and do it.

1. Take breaks during the day.  Put the phone down.  Instead breathe, stretch, walk around, drink some tea.
2. Drink lots of water
3. Get 8 hours of sleep a night.
4. Cultivate relationships.  Feeling supported, understood, and cared for combat stress.
5. Laugh.
6. Evaluate your job.  Are there simple changes that could make it better? 
7. Process through difficult situations with your favorite, friendly therapist.
8. Exercise
9. Spend time outside. Expose yourself to sunshine (in smart ways).  Eat dinner outside as a family.
10. Keep a gratitude journal. 

Let’s not forget the kids!  Create a stress-reducing environment for your children.

1. Turn off the TV.  Rather than using the TV as background noise, play music.
2. Give them outside time everyday – whether at the park, taking a walk before bedtime routine, or making mud pies in the backyard. Nature is incredibly soothing for kids.
3. Protect their sleep.  For young kids, Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” is a winner.  He even has a blog.  Kids need at least 9-14 hours everyday depending on age.  
4. Institute quiet time or naptime where kids are in their room, alone, napping, reading or playing quietly for 30 minutes to 1 ½ hours depending on their age.
5. Take a parenting class and get more skills.  A confident parent is a less stressful parent.  Being proactive about your stress greatly affects your family.  

June - "Unplugging Power Struggles: Resolving Emotional Battles with Your Kids, Ages 2 to 10" by Jan Faull.  This book, loaded with examples, will help you sidestep and stop the insanity of going 12 rounds with your kid over homework, vegetables, and ratty t-shirts they insist on wearing everyday. 

Book Club Meeting - Thursday, June 30 @ 7:00pm

July - "Raising Children You Can Live With" by Jaime Raser (read review in previous journal entry).  This is one of the best parenting books out there and very helpful for children in later grade school through high school.

Book Club Meeting - Wednesday, July 27 @ 7:00pm

August - "How to Listen so Kids Will Talk and Talk so Kids Will Listen" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish  This classic parenting book teaches listening and communication skills so that we parents can create a safe and fun environment of conversation in our homes.

Book Club Meeting - TBA 

Bishop of London Richard Chartres

Did you watch the Royal Wedding?  I finally did and was inspired by the sermon given by the Bishop of London, Richard Chartres.  The Bishop gave one of the best and most concise theologies on the purpose of marriage I have heard.  Many books in the Christian field have been written explaining this, but he did an overview in 7 minutes.  

What is the mission of marriage?  

"In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life", Bishop Chartres charged.

"A spiritual life grows as love find its center beyond ourselves.  Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed."

How is this accomplished?  

Through bestowing on each other "generous love" that goes beyond the situations, circumstances, and busyness of our days.  Steven Covey of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People said it this way, "Act on your values, not on your circumstances."  Life and humans present all kinds of difficulties that makes loving one another HARD, but it's your commitment to love generously that makes the difference.

The Bishop continued, "It is of course, very hard to warn ourselves away from self-centeredness."

"Marriage should transform as husband and wife make one other their work of art.  It is possible to transform so long as we don't harm our ambitions to REFORM our partners.  There must be no coercion if the spirit is to flow.  Each must give the other space and freedom.  Then quoting Chaucer he continued "when mastery cometh, the god of love anon beateth his wings and farewell he is gone."

My challenge to you is to get together with your partner and watch this nugget of gold together.  

Enjoy!

For frustrated parents out there - here's a bone for you.  Jamie Raser's Raising Kids You Can Live With is my all time favorite parenting book.  It's short, practical and relationship focused.  The brilliance of this gem is that it contains actual scripts of how to talk to your kid as to communicate boundaries, consequences, and respect that keeps the volume and pitch down.  This book is great for parenting preteens to teenagers.  Click on the book to purchase your copy from Amazon today.

To hear an interview of the author by Michael of thepsychfiles.com - click here.

Another round of Dave is starting and I cannot gush about him and Financial Peace University enough.  I regularly recommend him to friends, clients, and anyone who even sounds like they could use some money help.  I'm an unashamed Dave proselytizer.  My husband and I attended FPU this past Spring and consider it $100 well spent.  We weren't having major money issues, but we were definately not operating with the same ideas, plans, and assumptions about money, and it showed.  We decided to do FPU to have a common experience around finances and hoped that it would spark some more constructive conversations on the topic.  The course gave us a financial vision for our family and a program that we could both commit to - he served as our middleman.  

All the kids are going back to school, so get your rear in gear and find a FPU class near you.  Go to www.daveramsey.com, click on Financial Peace University, enter your zip code to find a class near you.  

Spring is Life by *silverdragon

It's the beginning of March and I feel Spring, the season of rejuvenation.  In the spirit of rejuvenation here are two wonderful opportunities to dust off your marriage, glean some new insight, and let it experience some rejuvenation of it's own.   

The first opportunity is a seminar called "The Four Non-Negotiables of a Dream Marriage" presented by Dr. Harville Hendrix.  Dr. Hendrix wrote a fabulous book on marriage called "Getting the Love you Want."  The seminar is hosted by University Presbyterian Church, Thursday, March 25 from 6:30-8:30pm.  Tickets are $15.  Call 210-732-9927 for more information or to RSVP.

The second opportunity is an 8 week, interactive class called "Dynamic Marriage" presented by Oak Hills Church.  "Dynamic Marriage" seeks to help you move your marriage from "Good to Great."  What a wonderful goal!  The cost is $150.  Call 210-698-4631 for more information.  

"It Goes Off at New Years" by FluroCrayons 

Another year, another chance for change, and another chance to kick yourself around the block for "failing" at your last year's list (big sigh).  I know that feeling.  I like to read people's new year's resolutions lists, they are always full of good ideas and noble aspirations.  But, a list of 5, 10, 20 items will stay a list of wishes and aspirations because in the end, when motivation subsides and the daily duties of Monday, January 4 resurface, they will be forgotten.  Why?  Because it's just too much.  We have limits, we can only do just so much.  

But, don't forgo the wonderful opportunity to add or change something about your life.  I LOVE New Year's Resolutions and I'm actually good at this. :)  Can I offer a suggestion?  Whittle down the list to ONE item - one change - one thing to concentrate on.  One year I quit celebrity gossip cold turkey.  It was a rough Spring.  I had to totally reorient my time on the computer, but when the withdraw symptoms subsided, I couldn't believe the mental and emotional space I had because I was NOT being outraged/shocked at the latest scandal.  Who knew eye rolling took so much energy?  The year before last my resolution was reading a book a month.  I could read more, but I had to at least finish ONE a month.  I'm great at buying books that collect dust and aspirations of becoming smarter.  So, that year when I finished my monthly book, I added it to the stack by my bed I referred to as the "Tower of Power."

This year my resolution is becoming wiser with money.  As the new breadwinner of my family, I am very conscious of it now and my neuroses and ignorance on the subject.  So, my plan is to attend the David Ramsey Financial Peace University at my church, Grace Point, and read one money book a month.  I'll keep you updated on the books I'm reading.  I started one last night which had me wondering if I should go see a counselor.:)  

Tell me about your resolutions and your plan. 

Happy New Year!

Providential Love: the Book of Ruth 

To be held at University Baptist Church on Sunday nights.  See link above for details or email me.

Here's the link:  www.wednesdayswithbeth.com

p.s. Thank you LifeWays Ministries.  At the end of Beth's presentation they present an update on their various worthy ministries to the needy around the world and invite you to partner with them.